Hallucinations are scary. Dissociation is scary. Paranoia is scary. Anxiety is scary. Delusions are scary. Mental illness is really fucking scary, and I’m proud of you just for living.
I just got a car and started driving again so I was thinking about some safety things for D/deaf/HoH drivers. One huge concern is the possibility of being pulled over and encountering the police.
I have a magnet similar to this on my car in case of that situation
I also keep a notepad and pen in my glove box with my insurance card and registration. I keep everything is in one place so I won’t have to reach around and look like i’m searching for “something”
I’m still creatively blocked so I’m learning the countries of Europe instead of writing. That’s logical, right?
At least your doing something more productive, compared to laying around doing nothing like me.
You are resting your body and mind. That is productive! Self-care is important. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of guilting yourself for needing a break!
But I feel like I do this way too often and I’m not sure if that’s being “productive” or lazy.
Let me tell you something I’ve learned: very very VERY few people are ‘lazy’ in the way I think you mean it here.
I see people use the word ‘lazy’ as a form of self-recrimination a lot. Hell, I used to do it to myself all the time! But when you examine your real reasons for doing (or as the case may be, NOT doing) things, you may find that ‘laziness’ is not actually the cause.
In my case, for instance, my perceived ‘laziness’ was actually my chronic pain rendering me immobile. I didn’t want to get up because getting up hurt. I asked other people to grab me things because the effort it took for me to get them (and the pain it caused to do so) was so great that it was easier to ask someone else and then apologize for my laziness to them afterward. It took my partner pointing out to me that I’m always perfectly willing to get up and do things when I’m not in pain before I realized that my self-diagnosed ‘laziness’ was just me trying to prevent more pain.
Let’s look at some other common reasons people may think they are lazy:
– Chronic fatigue – Insomnia – Depression – Anxiety – ADHD (Executive dysfunction is a REAL bitch) – Stress – Just being regular old tired from a stressful time at school/work/whatever
There are plenty of reasons people may need to rest. And everyone comes with different levels of energy. Comparing yourself to other people or holding yourself to some imaginary standard of productivity someone else has arbitrarily set is quite damaging, particularly when you then punish yourself by calling yourself ‘lazy’ when you DON’T meet that standard.
My partner always tells me that true laziness is being perfectly able to do something and just deciding not to. Laziness is a choice. All those reasons I listed above? Those things impact your ability. You don’t choose them. They are obstacles you have to work through that other people may not. And there are many, many reasons other than the ones I’ve listed above that may make it more difficult for you to be productive all the time. If you really sit down and examine your reasons for ‘laying around and doing nothing,’ I’m willing to bet that you’d find ‘laziness’ isn’t really on the list.
Don’t beat yourself up, okay? Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to rest. It’s really okay to need it.
*hugs*
I really needed this today
I’d also like to add that the choice to be lazy once in awhile is also not a bad thing! Deciding that yes, you COULD get up and clean your room or do your homework, but you would really sort of like to stay in bed an extra hour or two? That’s okay.
Self-care is important! Give yourself permission to be lazy once in awhile!
Make them sit in their rooms in silent and do their homework alone
Side with the teacher and not get your child’s side of the story
Tell them that their grades are the most important thing they should worry about
INSTEAD:
Ask if they’re having trouble with other students or teachers
Sit down with them and help them with what they don’t understand
Speak calmly instead of yelling
Don’t invade their privacy by looking through their devices
Don’t take away their hobbies as punishment
Never make them feel unsafe or unable to trust you
This has been a message from a struggling high school junior that wishes their own parents actually did this stuff.
Bonus: Don’t look through their freaking backpacks. Chances are they know damn well they have loads of unfinished papers and the stress of knowing is so overwhelming they don’t even wanna look at it.
Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.
Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?
And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run
But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually
Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.
Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!
Fyi- just in case you didn’t know.
TOUCH got a bro that likes to give high fives? Back slaps? Are they a hugger? Do they not blink an eye at cuddles?
QUALITY TIME this bro will (as op stated) sprint to spend every minute possible with you. Every second that you guys are together is a declaration of affection.
WORDS does your bro tell you how amazing and great and fantastic and wonderful you are all the time? Guess what…?
GIFTS do they buy you coffee? Snacks, energy drinks, spot you at the restaurant? Did that one key chain removed you of them? Ding ding!
ACTS are they always doing things for you? Ie: Nah bro, I got this, I can do that, need me to get anything for you, I can help with…?
PRO TIP – The way people show love is often how they receive love as well.
fbi-agent-anderson 